How many people count the number of sex partners they’ve had,  do you suppose? Does it vary between men and women? Does it really matter how many partners a person has had other than theoretically the risk for acquiring an STI increases with the number of partners?

Men in particular, from my own personal observation, fall very directly on one side or another when it comes to the relevance of how many partners a potential mate has had. The more conservative male frowns upon high numbers of sex partners for a woman, say, over ten partners, perhaps even tossing around the word slut in his mind. The more lenient male likes the promiscuity of a female partner for at least two reasons. One is that if she has been with a variety of other men she is more likely to be skilled at pleasing her partner compared to a woman with only several partners. The other reason is the fascination with imagining this potential mate with other men. It is a huge turn-on, as much so as considering his new partner could be promiscuous or the often forbidden term — slut.

Women will surely know where the man stands once engaged in discussions about sex. And she is likely to feel diminished if a man suggests that excess partners is a bad thing or lets her know she has had more partners than he has. The slut-loving man will go to great extent in showering a woman with attention and praise over her promiscuous behavior, not wanting her to change anything about how she lives.

So promiscuous or not, counting yes or no. What do you do?