THE DAILY BEAST

The Perfect 3D-Printed Penis

BY SAMANTHA ALLEN

Forget about tissue engineering and chocolate sculptures. 3D printing has finally achieved its true purpose: helping scientists discover the size and shape of the perfect penis.

For the first time, a group of researchers from UCLA and the University of New Mexico have used 3D-printed phalluses to ascertain women’s penis size preferences. Previous studies on the subject have asked women to state a length in centimeters or to select “small, medium, [or] large,” as if they were ordering a side of french fries. Other experiments have presented women with 2D drawings, but what is a penis, really, without the third dimension?

The study—published today in the peer-reviewed journal PLOS One—contains good news for men: Women prefer a penis size only slightly above average, and their preferences differ slightly depending on relationship context.

To perform the study, sexual psychophysiologist Dr. Nicole Prause and her team generated a matrix of 100 different erect penises with varying lengths and circumferences but eventually narrowed them down to 33 options, reasoning that “such a large choice set could overwhelm participants.” These 33 representative choices were then 3D-printed in blue plastic “to minimize racial skin-color cues” and sorted into baskets from which 75 women selected an ideal penis for both a long-term partner and a one-night stand.

To ensure that the women’s choices were not arbitrary, the researchers also required them to complete a pretest in which they attempted to recall the shape of a randomly selected phallus, both immediately and after a delay. The subjects proved themselves adept at remembering penis length and especially skilled at recalling penis circumference, which may indicate that they “care more” about the latter measurement.

But enough methodological foreplay. Here is the size and shape of the ideal penis according to this sample of 75 women. For a long-term partner, the women reported an ideal length of 6.3 inches and an ideal circumference of 4.8 inches. For a one-night stand—described by the researcher conducting the experiment as a man who is “kind, intelligent, funny, and has a great job”—the sample indicated that 6.4 inches long and 5 inches around would be best.